AKA - What the hell has happened to the £1 coin!?
I’m standing in a pie and pasty roadside shop perusing the selection. I decide to go for a sausage roll just as the employee approaches. He grunts, which I decipher as a request for me to order. I clear my throat.
“Egy kolbász…uh…roll…kerek szepén (One sausage…uh…roll…please?” I skilfully ask.
The employee just stares at me. I look at his name badge. It’s Martin. I decide to try again.
“Egy kolbász roll kerek szepén?”
“You what?” he grunts.
I sigh. I look around at my surroundings. I’m in a service station somewhere in between Bristol and Swindon. I return my gaze back to Martin. Martin works for Gregs and he’s currently staring at me with an exceptionally blank expression. I’m half expecting a spot of drool to drip from his gormless mouth. I few moments ago I looked at Martin as an equal. A worthy competitor in the game of life. But now, after his woeful display betraying his lack of Hungarian language skills I pity him. You’d have thought working for Gregs, a basic grasp of Hungarian would be mandatory, but sadly it would appear not. I worry for them as a business.
“Sausage roll please.”
Martin picks up a sad looking sausage in soggy looking pastry, pops it in a bag and hands it to me.
“90p” he says.
I pay him.
“Szivesen (my pleasure).”
I scoff and leave.
And so this is how the opening of Series 2 of The Buda Nest begins. In a Gregs, in a service station in between Bristol and Swindon.
Oh, by the way, Series 2 will mostly be set in London. It’ll be like when Curb Your Enthusiasm had an entire series set in New York, rather than LA. There will be moments set in Budapest as we’ll be returning there frequently, but base camp is in London, for now. Fans of the show will be glad to hear that all of the major cast will be returning, all played by the same people, and there’ll also, no doubt, be new, wacky characters and surprising cameos added to the melting plot throughout the series..
I arrived in the the UK last night thanks to RyanAir. To add even more glamour to my flight, I had priority boarding! Oh yeah! Look at me. King of the sewer rats!
Two highlights of my RyanAir flight?
- As I was sitting by the emergency exit I was asked by the air stewardess if I’d be in charge of people escaping if we plummeted in to the sea. I’m not sure what my qualifications were to get this heady role, but nevertheless, for one night only, I was Captain of the Emergency Exit.
- Our pilot introduced himself as Mr Demolition Man. MR! DEMOLITION! MAN! What?
But anyway, back to somewhere in-between Bristol and Swindon. Like a modern day Steve McQueen, I’m now bombing down the M4 in my newly purchased, second hand, Vauxhall Zafira. I’m fiddling with the radio station, but sadly I think it might be broken, as try as I might, I can’t find Petofi Radio, one of Hungary’s biggest radio stations. Where the devil is my obscure Hungarian pop music!? I sigh. Maybe I need to take the car to see a mechanic.
If truth be told I’m fairly sad to be back in the UK. Budapest has been astonishing, and giving up pretty much everything to move there and become a 40 year old, immigrant Dad was, after deciding to give Zsuzsa a virtual wink on a dating website, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. We’ve loved it.
But, now here I am. Somewhere in between Bristol and Swindon. My wife and tiny human cub will soon be joining me in London. We’ll move our nest to London and still live life to the full. I’m keeping the name as The Buda Nest as well! The London Nest just sounds, a bit…well it’s shit isn’t it. Plus we’re going to try and be in Budapest as much as humanly possible.
So hello again UK. From what I’ve been reading, you’ve been a bit of a dick in my absence. But fear not. I’m back. Guess I better sort this mess of a country out.