Today I was interviewed by one of Hungary’s biggest national radio stations about the Brexit. And this is unusual as in my six days living in Hungary I have hardly ever been on the national radio. So when I was contacted by the radio inviting me to share my thoughts, I decided to break my ominous radio silence and the whole of Hungary breathed a collective sigh of relief.
“Would you prefer to speak in English or Hungarian?” I was asked. I pondered this dilemma for a few moments before deciding that I’d probably struggle to get my succinct political thoughts across using only the four words of my Hungarian vocabulary. Especially seeing as one of those is ‘paradiscom’ (tomato) and another ‘fogotmos’ (to clean ones teeth). You can listen to the full interview below, but if you find yourself struggling to understand the Hungarian translation that has so rudely been placed on top of my sweet voice, it roughly translates as “Bollocks! That’s me fucked then!”.
It’s crazy to think that I was the glue that kept the UK together. Of course, I’d always expected that this was the case, but it was only once I actually left the country and witnessed it’s catastrophic collapse in to to chaos and parody from afar, that my instincts had been proven right. We’ve voted to leave the EU, the prime minister has resigned, the candidates to replace Cameron remind me of the end of the film Ghostbusters when the heroes were asked to choose their destroyer. Scotland might bugger off and they might take Northern Ireland with them. The inhabitants of Hull have all turned blue.
Pretty soon we’ll undoubtedly run out of petrol and be ruled over by Immortan Boris. The next thing to go will be the food and we’ll have no choice but to become cannibals, or something much worse…vegans. But I’m afraid I can’t come to the UK’s rescue on this occasion. I’m out here for at least a year now and have a miniature wife and an even more miniature baby to think of, so the UK will just have to pull itself together and get on with things without me.
I’ve decided that I won’t let fame change me. I may be Hungary’s hottest new radio celebrity, but I have to keep my feet on the ground. I have a young family to think of. I won’t go down the same route as the Justin Biebers and Kim Kardashians of this world. You might be sceptical of this, but I promise you, I won’t.
But anyway, I imagine you're currently trying to work out what a Hungarian radio celebrity does to distract himself from the shitty mess that is The Brexit. Well, the answer is get out of the city and enjoy some of the delights of Europe’s largest lake. I’m of course talking about Lake Balaton. So, we're now jumping in our Skoda Yeti hire car and will shortly by cruising down the M7 like some kind of Hungarian P-Diddy and Jo-Lo, Petofi Radio blaring out 80’s Hungarian hits as we go, in a desperate attempt to forget all of the chaos in my homeland.
Until next time.